The Close Call

My eyes open, and I look at the clock. 6:15 AM. Far to early for anyone to be getting up on summer break. Far to early. I groan and flip my blankets off of myself. I know it is too late now, and I won't be able to fall back asleep, no matter how hard I try. I had fallen asleep in my little sister's room the night before, so I try not to wake her up as I tiptoe into the bathroom. I step on the scale, and I am immediately disappointed when the scale reads no different from yesterday, or the day before. I sigh a little. I thought I had done so well yesterday! I meander down to the kitchen and begin getting out medicines and vitamins. And then...

"Period cramps!" I whisper as I drop what I am doing and crouch, trying to rid myself of the pain in my abdomen. "Damn! I remember why I hate this."
"Because its a sign of your weakness, and a clue that you haven't lost enough weight yet?" A familiar voice sounds in my ear as Ana materializes from around a corner.
"Well, that too." I sigh, ashamed, and stand up. "But also... it just hurts."
"Hmm." She agrees, leaning against the kitchen wall as she holds out a warm cup of green tea to me.
I accept it, and look up. "Sweetened with fiber enhanced Splenda?"
"Always." She nods. "Anyways, you may be relieved to know that your current pain is not, in fact, period cramps."
"No?" I turn my head and look at her sideways.
"No." The corners of her lips turn up in a knowing grin. "That's the last of your laxative working before-"
I practically drop the tea on the counter and sprint to the nearest bathroom.
"- before... well... that happens."

A little while later I am standing on the scale again. Only this time, I'm not so disappointed. I am nearly two whole pounds lighter. I know that's not permanent weight loss, but I can't help but be proud.

"I am proud of you too!" Ana squeals with delight, "Now you just need to keep that off."
"Yeah." I agree, "The only way to keep off that weight is to fast as planned, and then start ABC."
"Good girl!" Ana's eyes light up. "Keep this up, and You'll be skinny before school starts!"
I smile, a happy warmth filling my heart.
"It feels better than food," Ana smiles at me knowingly. "Doesn't it?"
"It does." I say. "Thank you."

My resolve is tested, however, within a few minutes. My parents wake up, and my dad starts making biscuits. The smell of the fresh bread fills my nose and I immediately want to eat one. As he relocates them to a bowl with the spatula, I reach out and grab one. I split it in half, and pull out my fat free butter.
"Lactose." Ana whispers in my ear.
I don't care. I tell her mentally, I'll take a lactase pill. And I open the lid. Clearly, this butter substitute has passed its prime, because the second the lid of the tub is gone, a horrible stench fills my nose. Ana gags. I wrinkle my nose and replace the lid. I feel I am going to gag as well. I cough and drop the tub into the trash. Normally I would have recycled the plastic tub, but that REALLY smells. One good thing comes of the rancid I can't believe it's not butter however, the incident gives me enough time to snap out of my blind food frenzy before I ruin my fast. I clutch my stomach and hand both pieces of the biscuit to my mother.
"I don't feel good right now." I say to her catching her eye and mouth "PERIOD." because my dad is in the room. She doesn't question me, and for this, I am grateful.

Ana and I walk back to my room so I can find a hoodie to put on over my tee because I am absolutely freezing. I can't really say its because of my incredible weight loss, however. My mom just keeps our house really cold. Terrible for the environment really, but I can't get her to change her mind.
"That was close." Ana looks at me solemnly.
"Yeah." I drop my head, thoroughly ashamed again. "Thank you for letting me stop myself though."
"No problem!" She smiles, "I knew you could do it! You just got a little closer than I would have liked. Much further, and I would have stopped you."
"I need to re-inspire myself." I lift an eyebrow. "I think I know what we're going to do today."