Post Pig Day

"Ana!" I scream, "Look at this!" I am standing on a large white square that looks a bit like a plastic tile. A maroon scream with bright red numbers reads an abormally huge number at the top.
"Darling, I warned you didn't I?" Ana sits on the edge of the tub kicking her feet back and forth. "Look at things positively... at least you didn't gain back all the weight that you lost yesterday!"
"Yeah," I glare at her cheerfulness, "By two ounces..." I look at the number one last time as I step off the scale and it resets to 0. What a beautiful number - "0"... Double it and that's the pants size I want to wear.
"That would be beautiful," Ana says, reading my mind, "Wouldn't it?" She giggles and jumps up from her makeshift seat. Her face drops again and she whines, "But you have a long time to go from here."
"Yeah." I halfheartedly agree. I send my terrible news to my pro-ana text buddies and my best friend Chels, and look back at the waif-like girl next to me. "Ana, I don't think I'm going to eat today."
"Wow, What a resolution!" She shrugs sarcastically, then freezes. "Wait, you mean, like, your going to fast?"
"Yeah!" I smile at her, "Its the least I can do in return for you letting me have a day off yesterday night."
Immediately she wraps her arms around me and pulls me close to her. "I am so proud of you!"
Her words inspire me, ans a happy chill runs down my spine. "I would try to fast for 4 days straight, but I am starting the ABC diet tomorrow."
"Oh, but you could fast anyways." She looks at me with her big beautiful eyes. "The numbers for the ABC diet are the limit. you CAN stay under if you want."
"No offense, but I'm going to try to stay exactly at the numbers, Ana." I am afraid of hurting her, but I am also afraid of failing again. "I want to get in as much as I can within the limits so I can stick with it this time and not burn out because of weakness. I'm sure you remember what happened last time..." I look down at my fat feet and trail off.
"You got to day ten. You were lying on the couch unable to stand from exhaustion, texting a boy."
"Josh" I fill in for her. "Not a person of interest. Just a friend"
"But he wishes he was more than that!" She winks at me.
"Meh..." I shrug, "He just wants inside my pants."
She throws her head back and laughs. This is the most entertained I've ever seen her. "That's true. That's true." She is still smiling as she continues with her story. "So your texting Josh, bragging, however foolishly, about how you aren't hungry and aren't going to eat. He tells you that you should. You tell him that, NO, you really shouldn't. You are too fat. He says of course your not you are the hottest girl in 2nd hour speech class."
With that line, I grin sheepishly at the floor examining my toenails. A thought occurs to me and I interrupt her for a second time. "Ana, should I do anything about my nails? They're turning blue."
She looks at me with a neutral face. "What do you think?" She replies simply.
"Well its extremely inspiring to see the blue tint." I start, "But I don't want anyone to get suspicious or anything."
"No one ever has before..." She rolls her eyes. "No one has ever associated the tinted nails with me. Besides... no one pays that close attention to your nails unless you call attention to them."
"Okay!" I smile at her, thankful for her assistance in my reasoning. "I'll leave them as weirdly random thinspo."
"You are so strange!" She laughs and then continues the story again. "You realize you can't go to school in the morning if you can't even stand, and you abandon me and beautiful diet all because you let a compliment from a skirt-chaser go to your head. Now you tell me what happened next."
"I go M.I.A. (missing in action) from my text buddy at the time and next thing I know, she too is abandoning you because she likes how food makes her feel happy again."
"Then you have no one to keep you accountable and after your old websites all get frozen, you are plunged into Compulsive Over Eating, and it takes you an extremely long time to come back to me for good."

The shame fills my mind, screaming for me to be punished for my unfaithfulness. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks and I burst out with a wailing "Ana, I'm so sorry! I was wrong! I shouldn't have left! I should have trusted you! Why don't I ever listen? All you do is only for my own good. Why did I ever leave? I could be itsy-bitsy by now if I'd only stayed!"
"Ssshhhh..." Ana pulls me close and rests her chin on top of my head. She wipes at the tears which have been torrenting out of my eyes like a salty waterfall. "Crying won't help you sweetheart! Just remember that failure when your tempted to quit this time. Everything will be okay baby-doll. You'll do just fine. Just think: 7 weeks from today you'll be standing on this scale and in front of this mirror and you'll have a great reason to be proud, love!"