Coming Back

I opened the laptop that I had been given for Christmas. Christmas... Too many cookies, cakes, chocolates, treats, too much indulgent food. I not only gained weight, I was almost all the way up to my high weight.What a whale. Anyways, back to my computer. Pressing the power button was like a knock on the door into a little daydream. . .


*knock knock knock*
"Hello?" I hear a voice call out from behind the closed door. "Kerry, is that you?"
"Yes," I hesitate, "Its me. again. I'm sorry to bother you but-"

At that moment the door flies open and I am cut off by a glomming hug from a friend I have not seen in an extremely long time.

"Ana!" I try to start again, "I'm really sorry to bother you..."
"Never mind that." She says holding up her hand gesturing me into silence. "I have been waiting a very long time for you to come back - Longer than usual."
"Ana, I have finally decided to stop trying to be normal. I know Its never going to happen. I am just too different. When I tried to eat 'normally' I just swung into compulsive over eating! It was just so hard! It was too much-"

She cuts me off again. I am glad. I really hate trying to make up excuses for her.

"Darling, I know. I have been watching you. I know how you have failed. I know about all those cookies. I know about the cheesecake. I know about the popcorn, and the ice cream, and the soda, and the EVERYTHING! I also know you're ready to return. It'll be harder this time though, I am warning you."
"I know. I'm ready for a challenge. I just want to be thin." I hang my head in shame. "I just wish I hadn't let myself go. I am such a fat cow! I-"

"Shhhh." She interrupts. "Save those words for when you need them most or they will cease to mean anything to you."
"I know, Ana." I look into her eyes. "I'm sorry."
She pulls me into her arms. "I am just happy you're here. I am just happy that you are safe."

 I can feels her thin arms around my shoulders, and I desperately wish I was thin like her.

"I want to be beautiful, Ana!" By now I am almost in tears. "I want to be the envy of my school! The best flier on my cheer squad! But as it is..."
"...You get overlooked and never get to participate?" She looks at me, her eyes filling with pity. "Let me help you, dear. Let me help you reach your dreams."
"Yes, please, Ana, that is why I came back. I was wrong to leave. I just want to be beautiful and thin. I just want people to stop thinking of me as one of the fat ones. I just want to be beautiful!" I choke on the last word and as I try to wipe the tears out of the corners of my eyes a gasping sob escapes my lips and I stop trying not to cry.
"Its okay." She pulls my head close to her and rests her cheek against my forehead. Immediately I feel better and my sobs start to subside. She runs her hands through my hair and strokes the wisps away from my face. "You're safe with me."